‘Life is a matter of balance’ – a direct quote from one of the wisest beings to walk the planet; my mum.
I had been finding life a little, lets say, difficult of late and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. After always being described by others as a ‘positive’ person, in recent months I have found my self complaining, dwelling or moaning, which we all know is poison itself. Negativity breeds negativity, but it simply just isn’t that easy to stop it if you are unhappy with certain aspects of your life.
So, after a day of travelling across the country from visiting my family (who are going through an emotional time), I was lying awake in bed, battling with my thoughts and possibly giving myself a hard time. I went through stages of asking myself what the issue is, telling myself it’s not good enough to be grumpy and torturing myself with thoughts that I will start pushing people who care about me away. And then the word popped in my head; balance. That’s it, that’s what I should be striving for. Balance.
So here it is, the birth of my new blog at 3:25am on a Monday morning, weighing in at 100lbs of thought matter. This will be a (probably somewhat humorous) document of my search for balance. I’ve always been a big believer in the saying ‘everything in moderation’ and I’ll try to apply this to the things that really matter in life.
Relationships; to me, this is the thing I love most about living – my boyfriend, friends and family – I’m lucky to love all of them deeply and they’re all wonderful people, so I’ll try my best to give each enough time and writing about them will be a piece of cake. As a naturally spontaneous person however, sticking to social dates and calendars isn’t such a piece of cake (mmm cake). I’m afraid I might be a bit of a flake, which mostly comes from a kind of inward rebellion of not wanting to do what I’m told to do. Again, something that needs a little bit of moderation – doing what I want to do and what will make others happy too. Family is a big deal for me. It’s unusual to get on with your family as well as we all do, which I’m eternally grateful for (and a little smug about, thank you very much) and I only mention what I say next as a fact to present, which is important in my search for balance and mindfulness. My mum is terminally ill. As it goes, my family are a well equipped unit of positive people with a good sense of humour and a sprinkle of spirituality – so no sympathy please. Everyone goes though emotional times and this is mine.
Body; I enjoy exercising and love eating well (and not so well) so that one will be easy to share with you – less easy to always find time for.
Work; somewhat of an issue at the moment… I am a teacher (which, if you’re a teacher that is enough to say about the subject) and I’m at a crossroads. I work a lot of hours, so many in fact that all the time mentioned above is usually drained with me working or being too tired from working. Here’s the stinger though- it’s something that I’m pretty good at. Anyway, part of my journey to find balance will also be a journey as to whether or not I stay in the profession or… if this is the key thing that is making me unbalanced, what else do I do?
Finally, other things I love (people call them hobbies but for some reason I really don’t like that word.) I’m a true pleasure seeker. The true, stripped down, basic pleasures; food, sex and fun. So I love to cook, eat , travel, listen to music, shop and take photos (I’ll leave the sex part out of it… a girl needs to keep some things private. And I don’t want to tell you.) so this balanced blog will also include some of my favourite things.
As self indulgent as this all is, I’m pleased to say it is already working. Like a form of therapy, I’m feeling lighter after writing this and almost excited about tomorrow and how I’m going to apply my new balanced outlook to my day (it might also help that it’s half term holiday and I’m not going into work…) I probably should also sleep as I can’t possibly be balanced if I’m sleep deprived.
I’ll keep you updated. Watch this ever-so well juggled space.