I’ve been a little quiet in the blogosphere for well the PAST YEAR and I apologise. I could tell you what I’ve been telling myself for the whole time; I’ve been waaaaaay too busy. Training to be a nutritional therapist is no piece of cake (well only if it’s made with sugar alternatives that don’t spike insulin… yawn, here she goes.) and doing it alongside a pretty intense fulltime leadership job at school wasn’t a pretty sight. I spent most of last year swinging from being wide-eyed and overwhelmed by how much work I had to do and being the most tired, unkept of beasts, my only refuge was my beloved blanket on the sofa. Self care went out the window, I barely saw the boy or my wonderful family and friends. But it was all in the name of following my dream so I could live with it.
The more I was learning about how the mind and stress affects the body however, the more I couldn’t keep pushing it like I was. It is so counter productive. I came to realise in fact, not just for this year, but for many years in my teaching career, I’ve been subjecting myself to continuous low level stress and therefore inflammation within. My poor body had believed that it was under the equivalent of a lion attack… For. Years. No wonder I was constantly run down and exhausted. Learning about nutrition I sorted out my diet, sleep and supplements and this helped. However I tinkered on the edge of ‘burnout’ more times than I care to admit. There were tears, tantrums and a few blow out drinking nights. It was torture that I couldn’t read extra articles and research papers outside of uni because I was too busy or tired to do so. The time came to make a choice. I took some time out – went to Thailand (I’m such a cliché) and thought long and hard. Do I carry on like this – only one more year to go before I qualify – anyone can do a year right? Wrong. I didn’t want to put myself through the stress again and more importantly I didn’t want to put the people around me through it. From day one of taking on my Nutrition Course I vowed I wouldn’t let it jeopardise the education of the children I taught, but I couldn’t hand on heart say this wasn’t going to happen in my final years training. So I handed in my notice, knowing full well how much I’d miss teaching but that I was more scared of staying in that job than I was scared giving my dream a good shot.
I’m now doing as much as I can to get experience of the wellness world. I’m working some shifts at a health cafe; Soul Deli in Brighton. I’m writing occasional content for a company, I’m contacting therapists, trying new fitness classes, devouring books and podcasts about nutrition and lifestyle choices. My wage has taken a HUGE cut, but my happiness is at an all time high and my stress levels at an all time low. Don’t get me wrong, I have a weekly (or sometimes daily) mini freak-out that what I’m doing is in fact mental, but I’m getting pretty good at giving myself a good talking to and remembering to breathe.
But even once I put the busy excuse to one side – I was still reluctant to post on my blog. Here’s why. Accountability, judgement and absolute fear. Nutrition is SO BIG – there is so much to know and most frighteningly of all, the wrong information can cause someone harm. There was a time I would’ve told anyone who listened that porridge was the best most nutritious breakfast in the world (it’s not. It’s not terrible but still, it’s not).and when I realised that wasn’t the case I. FREAKED. Nutritional science and research is also constantly moving on, changing and progressing – it’s can be confusing to navigate and for some difficult to keep up. I was so worried I would give people the wrong information that I just stopped all together. But then I started to realise what a learning journey I was on and in fact everyone who wants to live life to the fullest by feeling their best also needs to go on this journey too. So here I am, back for good. And here’s my promise – I will always endeavour to give the best advice with the knowledge I am gaining and IF I make a mistake or get something wrong I will hold my hands up, own it and tell you.